mandag den 30. april 2012

Oh, the irony...

So, this has been a long time coming now. "Oh my God, Proph, where have you been hiding for all this time?" I imagine my nonexistent fans are asking right about now. Well, I've been out living the life, being busy with all the stuff that living life entails (work, school, family, girlfriend, music, friends, exercise, etc). I guess in the midst of all these activities, I haven't had the time, nor the proper motivation, to keep writing this blog. But today, I finally felt it again. That moment of inspiration, where the feelings that are bottled up inside build up to the point where it all has to come out in some form. That moment, where you sit down, and force yourself to write something like this, because it's a better alternative than going out and setting your enemy's car on fire. And by better, I mean way less satisfying, but at least with the added benefit of avoiding any risk of jail-time. So what was it that sparked my hatred today, that ignited this flame and awoke a slumbering dragon from its dungeon, to once again roam the planes of the internet, striking fear into the hearts of the humble commoners, until my thirst for vengeance has been satisfied? (I've been watching too much Game of Thrones recently).

It was, of course, nothing less than the most feared and hated man-eating demons, hailing from the seventh layer of Hell itself: Parking cops.

The most accurate artist rendition I could find online, in lieu of reusing the photo of Max Martin.

Now, I'm aware that there are certain places where people shouldn't park their cars. For example, in front of fire hydrants, places where you block other traffic, or anywhere at all if you're a blonde who somehow flirted her way into a license and a car without crashing the first time you spotted an older man in an expensive vehicle (ZING!). But here I was, parked in a regular parking space in a private yard, where specially issued parking tickets are required. I had one. It was valid from the 27th to the 29th of April. I also had one starting from the 30th of April, but seeing as it's illegal to claim you've parked somewhere the day after you've actually done it, I figured I'd go out in the morning to put the new one in the windshield. But alas, I didn't count on the bastards having been there already at 5:30 in the freaking morning!

Turns out demons are quite punctual.

I talked about it with a friend who lives close by, and he said they actually did the same thing to him. And even when he wrote them a complaint, to inform them that he actually had a valid parking pass, they still held firm, saying it was his fault for not running out there a minute past midnight to put the new one in the car.

Now, this is all just a minor grievance on its own, but when you add in the fact that I just got my license this last Wednesday, and that the car in question was my uncles, that I had borrowed for the weekend... Yes, that right there, is life strapping on the biggest pair of cowboy-boots it could find, and kicking me square in the nuts.

This is not something new, mind you. By now, I'm actually quite used to getting my ass whopped by life every so often. What's new about it, is the method. Oh yes, most of the time, it seems to go straight for the wallet, but even I have to admit that it must take something of an evil genius to come up with all these inventive ways to stiff a dude who's trying to get his smiley-face on (patent pending on the cool lingo). There was the time when I had saved up a bunch of money while dating a woman who was broke, but couldn't care less about financials... And then right after we broke up, I dated a chick who I spent half of it on, and then borrowed the other half to, only so she could move halfway across the world, and never give it back to me. There was the time I moved out of my first apartment because the bills were too expensive, only for the internet provider to show up six months later with a huge bill, telling me that they never finalized my agreement with them even though I had called to cancel it before I moved. And then there was the time where I spilled a free drink on my laptop, essentially paying thousands of times more than the standard price for something I got for free.

These are but a few examples of the many, many times where I've been dealt a hand of cards like that. But if anything, I've at least come to appreciate that irony must be the highest form of comedy that exists - or maybe God is just going through a phase where he digs that.