To pee, or not to pee

Recently, a certain someone in my life came down with a bladder infection. This affected her urinary tract in a way that makes her feel like she has to pee all the time, while being unable to know when something is actually going to come out. Needless to say, this lead to several (hilarious) incidents, that I won't recount here out of fear of getting my ass whooped.

Anyway, all of this got me thinking about our need to pee, and what it means to us.

We certainly all know what it means to R. Kelly.

The human body is a vastly complex organism, comprised of trillions of tiny little atoms that make up the countless amount of cells that come together to form a living, breathing, thinking human being. But our bodies, in spite of being honed to efficiency and excellence after millions of years of evolution, are far from perfect (not counting Gabrielle Union, of course). We have superfluous organs, frequent discharges of waste products (that's a scientific way to say we poop and pee a lot), and a high susceptibility to infections and diseases. And recently, I've been thinking about just why that is.

Now, mind you, I'm no scientist, and I'm certainly not one who would consider himself a grand philosopher of humanity.

I do rock a pretty mean "thinking man", though.

Without getting into the whole God-debate - that's a whole other topic for another day - everyone can certainly agree that nature is far from perfect. Evolution (which, for the record, is only a "theory" in the same vein that gravity is), is an ongoing process that has lead to some pretty strange, and even grotesque creatures, especially in the ocean. So far, the closest thing we've had to the creation of a perfect organism, is that alien creature from those movies about aliens, where they first have to fight a single alien, then a whole lair of aliens, then a third alien which makes Sigourney Weaver flip out and jump into a pool of lava, only to later get resurrected so that she can birth one last alien. I think it was called "That Weird Creature That Came From Outer Space".

In any case, one must wonder how this can be. How come, after millions, even billions of years of evolution, are we among the closest things nature has come to perfection (I'm counting crows, dolphins, and porcupines ahead of us), when we are still so far from it? Why do men have nipples when we can't breastfeed? Why are we all born with tonsils, whose only purpose seems to be to fuck with us until we decide to cut them out? Why don't all women look like Gabrielle Union?

If there was a god, we'd all be dating this.

Perhaps it's just my own sense of perfectionism talking, but if I was running this whole evolutionary show, we'd all be superhuman creatures with model-like features, super intelligence that would make Einstein look like a confused kindergartner who just sniffed half a tube of glue, and of course, also wings, so that we could take to the skies and look down upon all of nature's inferior creations, and shit on them (much like crows currently do to us). So I guess maybe R. Kelly did have kind of the right idea - assuming he believes himself to be superhuman, which, seeing as he has previously stated that he believes he can fly, is probably a fair assumption... But I digress!

Some say that all of these obstacles we face are just a part of life, a darkness to act as a contrast to the light, thus giving us all the more appreciation for it. And while I do believe that it's true that we wouldn't appreciate the sun so much if it wasn't for the rain (and especially the snow... that goddamn snow!), I've gotta' say that I also believe enough is enough. We have wars, famine, social barriers, diseases (such as the horrifically named Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), political scandals, corruption, and much more to worry about pretty much every single day of our lives, and then on top of that, nature designs a virus that goes into our bodies with the sole purpose of messing with our basic ability to urinate? I mean, goddamn nature, when are you gonna' give us a break here? Add a few natural disasters into the mix every year or so, and it seems like we're fighting a freaking war here. I mean, what did we humans ever do to nature to deserve this kind of fate?

Oh wait, never mind...